Hogwarts' Lords
by Fairyqueen101
Summary: The year that never was came to an end in a strange way. Sane!Master and the Doctor get thrown into the middle of Hogwarts, both are 11 and immortal. Add in a long lost friend, the Time Lords get to shake Hogwarts down to its roots. T, possible M later.
1. Jack was Right

Chapter 1: Jack was Right

'Well, Doctor,' sang the Master, 'it's been a year and I think that it would be fun to jump to another universe and muck about. What do you think?'

'Master,' said the newly youthful Doctor cautiously, 'that would be a bad idea.'

'Oh, come on, Thete,' he whined, 'I'd leave this planet alone and I promise to listen to you. Plus, it's not _my_ fault that the schism gave me Bent Vortex Syndrome.'

'It's not,' the Doctor said carefully, 'but Kos, it would still be dangerous, insanely so.'

'You think skipping to another universe is more dangerous than two renegade, depressed, insane Time Lords running about with free rein?'

'Perhaps we should,' said the Doctor begrudgingly, 'but I'll only agree to it if you let me cure you first.' The Master laughed regretfully.

'I'm way ahead of you there,' he whispered sadly, 'I fixed my mind a year ago. And before you get on my case, it took this long just to know what the sane me would've chosen. In another week I should be completely cured of the BVS and back to how I was meant to be.' The Doctor blinked in surprise, but the wary lowering of his purposeful mental block showed how the Master truly was almost cured. He nodded in resolution as plan after crazy plan filtered into his head at top speed.

'The easiest way into another universe would be to bind ourselves to the heart of the TARDIS…' the Doctor stated calmly.

'Set her to random…' the Master continued without missing a beat, both Time Lords falling into their familiar and missed rhythm.

'Jump her into the untempered schism outside the wreckage of Gallifrey…'

'And hope for the best.' Finished the Master as he started grinning the way only a madman could. The Doctor echoed it effortlessly.

Half an hour later, Jack felt his restraints drop to the ground. He shivered in trepidation and trudged up to the control room doors where the sight of all his friends greeted him.

'Ianto, Tosh, Gwen, Owen,' he gasped in shock with his mouth gaping open, 'what in the nine bloody hells are you doing here?'

'Don't you get snippy with us, Jack,' said Gwen calmly, 'you're the one who sent us here, after all.'

'I did what now?' Jack said in confusion before he noticed that Ianto, his Ianto, had his Vortex Manipulator. Smirking cheekily, he removed it and handed it to someone behind Jack.

Whirling around, Jack came face to face with… himself. Crap, this was just what he needed on top of being chained to a wall for a year, a fucking _paradox_.

'So, here I am, and you'd better listen to me now me, 'cause you'll need to remember this speech for oh, four hours from now,' the slightly older Jack ordered snappishly, 'so, this paradox is self-fulfilling, so no need to worry about the timeline getting screwed to hell. Inside is the strangest thing you've ever seen. Yes, that's right.' He said to Jack's open mouth, 'the strangest thing ever. It's damned creepy, if you ask me, but I digress. Just listen to him, and do as he says.'

'Jack, just do it,' his team chorused irritably, 'we'd rather get life back to whatever passes for normal for us.'

'So you want to go around hunting weevils, chasing the Doctor, stopping alien invasions, and watching as I get killed repeatedly, yeah?' Jack said as he laughed at the word "normal."

'Pretty much,' Owen sniped, 'but preferably without the whole "oh my god it's Torchwood let's mob them and see what happens, those weirdoes creep even _me_ out. I do fucking autopsies on aliens, I don't _do_ creeped out.'

'Ah, no stupid jokes, Harkness,' Gwen hissed as Jack opened his mouth again, 'just shut up and do as he says.'

'Fine,' he pouted, 'but if you hear screaming, it's because the Doc and the Master are getting along.' With that the older Jack smirked and teleported away with his team to protect the Earth as Jack opened the door to… the Doctor and the Master _getting along._ He was right, everything changed. But he wasn't ready. Crap. True to his word, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shrieked, earning himself an outburst of insane laughter from both aliens.

'Well then, Jack,' the Doctor proclaimed grandly, 'here's your Vortex Manipulator, I took the liberty of adjusting it to take you away if you get too close to creating a paradox or disrupting the timeline. Now just do whatever you want, it'll stop you from ruining anything.'

'Neat, so I assume that you want me to go visit Torchwood and bring them here, and then do what I just heard and saw myself do?'

'We've got a winner!' the Master laughed, 'thanks for stealing my lines Mr. Harkness.'

'No problem,' Jack snapped, 'goodbye.' With that he disappeared into the Vortex, back to the Hub.

'Well then, Thete,' the Master stated wickedly, 'I'd say that it's time to do this.'

'Agreed, but should we be "born" into t5he new world or just randomly appear in a crowd of people?'

'Ooh, the crowd of people for sure,' the Master crowed, 'let's de-age ourselves as well. So, now that we're bound to the TARDIS, let's rip a hole in the space time continuum the size of Belgium!'

'Kos,' said the doctor wearily, 'only the external size of the Valiant.' The Master just laughed as the Doctor gulped. Then they were thrown bodily into the Time Vortex, arriving outside of the untempered schism, they nodded to one another as the TARDIS leapt through the window, tearing a Belgium sized hole in the universe as they left.


	2. Belgium is Bad

A/N: _alright, so I just figured out how to make this work for me, and I'll add in some info missed from the last chapter. This should be the longest a/n. I hope. This is my first fanfic so… forgive any crappiness. (Also, I found Ch. 1 in my hard drive, so blame the 14- year-old me) the Doctor and the Master catapult themselves into Hogwarts! Yayz! I just___**had**_ to do it. Anyway, Manipulative Dumbles and idiot Weasley need to learn that you just don't mess w/ the last two Time Lords, alone you run, together you cower in the shadows and hope they aren't angry, 'cause if they are you're screwed. I don't like 'em too much. There _**might** _be a change in this, but so far no slash is seen in the horizon. H/Hr is there though, you have been warned._

Disclaimer: if I _**owned**_ this, why would I be on this sight in the first place, so GET THOSE SOLICITORS AWAY FROM MY HOUSE! If you sued me you'd just get a couple bucks, anyway…

You might need this:

'Normal speech'

'_mind speech'_

'**Alien/animal/ other language'**

'_**Gallifreyan'**_

Chapter 2: Belgium is Bad

The Time Lords hit the floor with a resonating thud and loud groans.

'Ow…' the Master muttered under his breath as he sat up slowly, rubbing his head, 'that hurt worse than being hit by a Dalek.'

'Yeah,' laughed the Doctor as he flipped to his feet and helped the Master to stand, 'well, in all fairness, I _did_ warn you that ripping a hole in the fabric of time the size of Belgium was a bad idea.' The Master snorted and muttered something unintelligible in a dark tone.

'What was that, Kos?'

'I said,' barked the blonde, 'I get it, Belgium is bad. Oh and there's a room full of people pointing sticks at us and looking _very_ confused and angry.' The Doctor glanced around cheerfully at the room in the way only he could accomplish.

'So there is,' he stated cheerfully as he waved, 'hello there, my name is…'

'_Use your nickname, '__**idiot' **_theMaster hissed telepathically, '_I don't think they'll take kindly to our chosen titles!' _

'… Theta Sigma,' he continued as if nothing had happened, 'and his,' here he jerked his thumb back at his weary companion, 'is Koschei.' The room continued to stare at the two as they announced this calmly, as if popping into a castle from a giant hole in the ceiling was an everyday occurrence for the two. They hoped it wasn't.

Both ducked under and around the jets of light that raced towards them on all sides. The adults were in an uproar as two 11-year-olds escaped the most skilled attacks in an elaborate dance that had no blind spots. They were untouchable and invincible in the simplest way imaginable.

'CEASE THIS AT ONCE!' barked an older woman from the staff, the light ended abruptly with only a few people still firing upon the partners in crime. But they soon stopped as well once a loaded gaze from an older man with a very long beard was directed towards them. They weren't even breathing hard, as if nothing had happened to cause the singed ground and chipped corners.

The man from the Head Table stood and fixed a piercing gaze on the boys before him. Their answering stare mad him shiver, what on Earth could give boys so young eyes so old? 'Well,' he said with a confidence not felt, 'I think we would all like an explanation as to how you managed to apparate into our school with the wards in place.'

'What's apparition?' asked the Master, 'I don't remember doing anything called "apparition," what about you, Thete?' _'Let's cause some chaos, old friend.'_

'Nope, no idea,' he leaned over to his friend and stage whispered in mock dismay, 'do you think they have something to do with the you-know-what that happened in the you-know-where when you blew that hole in the fabric of time that we were forced through?' Koschei fought down a grin at the wide eyed innocence that the Doctor radiated along with faux fear and anxiety as they played their game as he also froze in horror.

'I don't know,' he whispered back frantically, 'but maybe when the guy shot us through the _thing_ in the_ place_ we skipped verses instead of jumping galaxies?' the faculty was gaping openly at them now.

'Er, I think we might've sent the signal strangely when we used the dynamite instead of the warp star,' Koschei proclaimed grimly to his friend.

'That's probably it then after all,' he plastered on a "brave" face and said loudly and challengingly to the man, 'well, go on then. Your master sent us here to be killed, did he not? Get on with it already.'

'Yeah,' piped up the Doctor, seemingly oblivious to the pale faces and looks of horror, 'if we're gonna be killed; hurry it up. We've got all that dead family and friends waiting for us, after all. Don't worry, we promise to make the devil reserve a seat in Hell for you.' He snarled at the room at large.

'_Tone it down,' _the Master murmured, '_let them make their own assumptions from what they saw. Don't say anything more. Just look at the faces, this universe is going to be a blast!'_ Both held back the laughter that threatened the cover they had created. The Doctor looked closer at the people and reeled back, blinking in shock.

'_I just noticed something,' _the Doctor said in awe, '_they have a sort of… energy about them. It's like those witches we got rid of centuries ago.'_

'_You're right,'_ gasped the Master quietly, '_they do. Do you think that, perhaps they actually have _magic_ here?'_

'_Maybe so, perhaps we could use the "we're from the horrible, horrible future but can't say anything because it would be a bad thing" cover that the Time Agency uses all the time?'_ The Master mentally nodded in agreement at the new plan.

'_Theta Sigma, don't you dare say a word unless they come to the conclusion on their own, and of course do anything and everything to cause complete and utter chaos.' _He risked a glance at the young Doctor to see that he had on the blank mask he used throughout the Year That Never Was to hide the true, calculating spirit behind. The Master mirrored it flawlessly.

'No my dear boys,' said the silver haired wizard, unnerved by the emotionless faces that replaced the fearful ones, 'my name is Professor Dumbledore. Welcome the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the largest magical school in great Brittan. Perhaps you would consent to a harmless scan to see if you have magical potential?'

'And what, pray tell, will happen to us if we do?' asked the Doctor in a clipped monotone, 'we will not become soldiers, nor will we be manipulated by anyone into becoming weapons.'

'Of course not, Theta Sigma,' proclaimed the headmaster in hurt tones as his blue eyes started to twinkle madly, 'if you do then you will be granted an opportunity to learn here and join our world. If not, than you will be _obviated_, and will leave this school in peace to end up in a well-run orphanage in London without memory of the school. Every other memory will be intact.' The boys glanced at each other, and with a quick wink they nodded for the man to continue.

Making a complex movement with his wand, he murmured the spell "_Magi Revealo_" at the two. The golden light shimmered around them in a cocoon for a moment before pressing in and exploding outwards. With muggles and squibs, there was an aura raised about a centimeter from the skin. Usually with magical children of that age, there was a stable core of magic coloured to suit the personality and had occasional flashes of wild power whipping out and around before dissipating. Even the more powerful and stable adult wizards had the core, but instead of wild flashes, there were elusive tendrils of light that brushed against everything nearby. Nothing prepared him for what he saw coming from the two stoic boys.

'Good Merlin,' breathed his deputy as she gazed at the sight before her, 'what _are_ they?' because instead of the expected, what they saw was a swirling Vortex of pure energy that seemed to make up the two, raging beneath their skin. A glow surrounded them, looking like a protective shield as their energy lashed outwards to the dual Ligilimancy probe he sent forwards, encasing it safely and shoving in fear and pain as they threw him forcefully out. While a single, golden thread attached them by the temples, billions of other threads were rolled in motes of swirling light, floating in the glow around them. Dumbledore cancelled the spell with an ashen face, the entirety of the staff were pale as well, they had grasped the meaning instantly. Professor Flitwick stood shakily, the effect lost due to his smaller stature.

'What are you two?' he demanded, 'that sort of magic, it shouldn't exist as it does around you both!' his hair was standing on end do to the energy crackling nervously around his body, 'so, you're obviously not human, we won't judge your species, I myself am part goblin, but we n_eed _to_ know _before we let you stay with us_._' All around him heads nodded in conviction at the declaration, the even staff went along with his promise.

'We are people,' murmured the Master gently, 'just like you lot. We just happened to be thrown through a hole of sorts in the fabric of reality.'

'_I found something in the old one's mind,'_ the Doctor whispered gleefully, _'they have these things called "Time Turners," they allow them to go back a few hours. I think we had an accident with them, yeah?'_

'_Right,'_ Koschei cackled, '_your idea,_ _you can say it.'_

'Let's just say that we have quite a bit of evolution under our belts as compared to you. Add on the fact that we had a bit of an issue with a crazed madman, attempted, and succeeding, genocide with us as the only survivors of our race, _lots_ of Time Turners, and an explosion. It's not something that I recommend for kicks, to be honest.' Flitwick slumped down in shock, most faces showed pity now.

'You said something about letting us learn magic, yes?' Interjected the Master, 'we'd like to learn.' The Doctor nodded avidly with the reminder.

'Alright,' Dumbledore said weakly, 'you will be sorted with the other first years on September first. They arrive by train, and while it may be counter-productive to send you there only to ride back, it will avoid certain suspicions.' He retook his seat wearily as he steepled his fingers to his temples as he schemed, 'I warn you now that Hogwarts' student body breathes gossip and rumours like oxygen. Be prepared for anything from being evil to being heroes.' For some unfathomable reason, the boys' mouths twitched into a smile of pure mischief. It was gone so fast even Dumbledore dismissed it as a trick of the light, despite the morbid shivers running down his spine.

'So rather like our lives so far, minus the mobs of people trying to either murder us or beg for miracles that shouldn't be given?' Theta joked, his audience skittering back at the casual way he announced the injustices dealt to him and his companion.

'T-that would be c-co-correct,' stuttered a man wearing a turban, 'but with l-less attempts on your l-lives, I should imagine.' He completed the jumpy statement before turning his horrified gaze down to his curled hands and retreating to silence.

'_Something's wrong with him,' _the Master hissed, _'but I can't put my finger on it…'_

'_I see it as well,' _the Doctor agreed the instant he heard, _'but innocent, wronged children, remember?' _Koschei sighed and nodded marginally in acknowledgement. He took a brief moment to peer at the twisting timelines, seeing them spread and flutter like ribbons in the breeze. He calmed and yawned loudly before ducking his head to hide the smirk dominating his face.

'I'll show you both to a spare set of rooms, yes?' Dumbledore asked cheerfully, he positively beamed when the two boys nodded and followed him as he swept towards the abandoned wing on the seventh floor, the entire thing hidden from view and only accessible to the chosen Headmaster and those he invited inside. Still beaming, he shut the door behind him and went for his own night of rest.

'_**Idiot,'**_ the two scoffed together as the door shut behind Dumbledore's eccentric flowing robes. A voice from behind them gasped quietly. They spun around, instinctively falling into a defensive pose to face the unknown presence behind them.

'Wow, calm down, Master, Doctor,' said a semi-translucent spectre from, by their guesses, a thousand years ago or so. He also happened to look exceedingly familiar to the two, 'I see you only vaguely recognise me, hm?' he asked sympathetically, at their cautious nods, he mirrored them and smirked slightly.

'The question is,' the Master said bluntly as he paused for the Doctor to finish his sentence without seeming to notice, the ghost was reminded of his brother-in-arms from all those years ago.

'How do you know us and who are you, if you don't mind us asking?' intoned the brunette as he nervously appraising the phantom in front of his eyes, plucking softly at the robes that appeared out of nowhere. His brow wrinkled in confusion and he saw his friend doing the same, the ghost chuckled and began to explain the two oral inquiries and the non-verbal one hanging in the air.

'I know you both from my lifetime, although I assume it was this universe's version of you both that banded me and my three friends together; our names were Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw.' His face became far away as the handsome, long-haired spirit recalled times past, 'together we created this school to educate magical children and protect those who seek sanctuary. I shall reveal my identity at the Welcoming Feast after both of you are sorted, no matter what, and shall introduce you to my companions.'

'Agreed,' chuckled the Time Lords in unison, this was a Founder who knew them. Why not have fun at the schools' expense? They grinned evilly and snickered softly. The spirit who knew them and what they were liable to do after no fun shuddered in trepidation of the upcoming pandemonium while going through ideas of how best to shock the school.

'While it may not be known, both of you assisted in the creation of Hogwarts,' he gestured at the room, which seemed to thrum in agreement, 'both of you provided an energy crystal from, and I quote, "our TARDIS's energy generator along with ten years each to kick start its growth," unquote,' to say the Lords of Time were floored was like saying that the universe is pretty big, 'and apparently she's been feeding off of the ambient magic released from spells and bled off of the students ever since.'

'Well,' the Doctor sighed quietly as he ran the palms of his hands down a wall of the room, 'she'll never fly, but she is perfectly capable of communicating with others and slowing slash speeding up people's perception of time; probably to the extent of three weeks to an hour and vice-versa.'

'You never mentioned that,' muttered the ghost with his arms crossed, 'so Hogwarts can actually talk to people if she wants to?'

'**Indeed,'** murmured a highly amused female voice, the ghost jerked mid-air and nearly flew through a wall in surprise, **'I simply find it takes much concentration and energy to speak to a room as a whole. Telepathically is difficult with most, and I see no point in alerting a bunch of armed, hormonal, irrational teenagers that the castle they reside in is sentient and alive as stone can be.'**

'I see the merit in that decision,' huffed the Founder, 'but I'm still upset about it.'

'Would it help to rectify the situation that she wouldn't have been able to communicate until at least the two hundred year mark?'

'…' the Founder leaned back in the air as he considered this, the castles amusement palpable, 'fine, I concede the point.' He was met by smirks. Rolling his eyes skywards, he drifted back to his secret chamber and allowed his body to solidify enough to make out colour. He sat down on the four-poster bed and closed iridescent green eyes, already preparing mentally to track down his chosen brother in the morning.

The Headmaster was asleep, scheming how he was going to get the boys to bend to his will for 'the Greater Good.'

The Time Lords shrugged to each other and collapsed onto their beds, instantly falling into each other's Dreamscape for the required hour of sleep to keep their bodies functional. They spent said hour testing the shields the other had in their mind. Woe anyone to enter without permission.

The teachers all went to bed confused as to the events of the day. Hoping for some little bit of normalcy in the morning, they fell into oblivion. Hogwarts watched and chuckled at the antics of her "fathers," she fell into hibernation for the night as the last inhabitant dropped off. She rather liked that her "fathers" were here for a while. For the first time in a long time, she was content.


	3. To the Alley!

A/N: I didn't really expect anyone to review… so wow! Thanks to all those who wait for my updates as well. Sorry for taking so long to update, but I was busy trying not to be drained by the giant mosquitoes in Agassiz. Someone brought up confusion as to the 'Kos' and 'Thete' thing. Back on Gallifrey, the Doctor went by the name Theta Soes i ng so long to update, but i igma and thee Master by Koschei. I shorted the names. Sadly, you'll have to put up with one more name change before the start of the year. So, here's chapter 3.

You might need this:

'Normal speech'

'_Mind speech/thinking'_

'**Alien/animal/ other language'**

'_**Gallifreyan'**_

Chapter 3: to the Alley

After a long hour of reorganising their mind shields, the Time Lords awoke feeling fully rested and rearing to go. Smiling, they submerged once more to test the conscious barriers. The Doctor dove into his comrade's mind as a literal Oncoming Storm- whirling and flashing with power and emotion contained in a coloured veil. They began to physically and mentally spar.

'_**Your mind has changed a lot,'**_ he observed gently, _**'it was so dark last time, so angry and wild. Now it's more like a forest as it regrows from a fire.'**_

'_**That's one way to describe it. A rather apt one, if I do say so myself.'**_The Doctor just laughed happily as he reformed as a Time Lord and explored the serene Mindscape. This mind forced the Avatar into a strict world of physics, so there were no flying, transforming, super senses, super speed, or other altering methods. Nodding, the Doctor strolled through the trees as mist started to gather and thicken.

'_**Try to find me now, Doctor,'**_he crowed,** '**_**this is **_**my **_**domain!'**_The Doctor grinned and started to run, all the while smashing the trees and rocks in his path. Soon he came across a large Griffon- with blue and silver feathers- that was rather formidable. Until he leapt onto its back, that is. It screeched once, and then popped away instantly as the Doctor gracefully dropped to the earth, which turned to quicksand under his feet.

They had moved through first to eighth form, now using sonic energy to mimic duelling with wands, as this universe required it.

'_**This is rather fun,'**_ laughed the Doctor, grinning maniacally, _**'start trying though,**__**Kos, or I'll find this far too easy.'**_

'_**Easy, you say?'**_

'_**Indeed, I can already see your final barrier.'**_

'_**What?'**_

'_**What can I say? I'm extremely talented at mind navigation.' **_He started a headlong sprint at the large gate, and battered his form against it until the Physics law faltered; he was once again a maelstrom of power. In seconds, the gate splintered from the wall and the other defenses fell in the same pattern as the outside, if only because he knew which rooms held subsequent information and where the hidden entrances were to the Master's Avatar room.

'_**Alright, you win,'**_ the Master sighed in defeat as he was finally pinned to the floor with a barrage of sonic power as his barriers fell, _**'my turn now?'**_ the Doctor nodded as the Mindscape was reset and an attack on his on defenses was staged. He lasted an hour longer than the Master, who made it two and a half hours. Now that they had 'slept' for a full six hours, they stretched and headed for the Great Hall.

As they entered a small table materialised in front of the Head table. They sat to the murmuring of the staff as all sorts of food appeared before them. Dumbledore stood, his eyes twinkling, and started to speak.

'Well, as I'm sure you all know, Theta Sigma and Koschei Sigma-' he was interrupted by two snorts from the boys eating at the guest table.

'My last name isn't _Sigma_,' the Master snorted, 'and neither is his. Not to mention the fact that we aren't related. At all.'

'Then what, pray tell, is your last name?' Dumbledore asked jovially,' I can hardly have you here without knowing your given names.'

'You wouldn't be able to pronounce it,' the Doctor scoffed, 'and if you could, we wouldn't tell you.'

'Why ever not, my dear boy?' Dumbledore asked the two in shock, 'it is only a name after all.'

'Because it can be used against us, for now, our last names can be… why don't we just change the entire thing?' With a nod from his friend, the Doctor ploughed on, 'I'll be John Smith, and he'll be Harold Saxon. That is all we shall answer to.' The Master disguised a shout of laughter as a cough and nodded in agreement. The Headmaster shook his head as if to clear it.

'As I was saying, these boys will be attending Hogwarts come September, and will be taken to Diagon Alley later today. They will also be transported to King's Cross so as not to arouse suspicion. The only difference from these two and an ordinary student is that they will spend summers here.'

'We have to put up with students during the break,' a hooked-nosed man exclaimed indignantly, 'summer is the only time we get away from the dunderheads, now even that is gone?'

'While it pains me to say it, and it does, Severus is right. Hogwarts just isn't equipped to handle students during the break,' said a stern-faced woman sadly.

'The students are right here,' called John, 'but if it is a legitimate concern, we are capable of entertaining ourselves, and I assume that there are books here, so we could always just commit tons of books to memory. If that is still disagreeable, we are able to enter a sort of mild self-induced coma for a set amount of time. It is extremely accurate, to the hour, and wouldn't involve you hearing anything from us until then.' He was decidedly oblivious to the odd looks aimed his way.

'Er,' said a short man who was sitting atop a stack of books to see over the table, 'I don't think that will be necessary.'

'We were hoping that it wouldn't be, but the option is there just in case.' John's eyes sparkled with pure mischief as his grin grew larger, **'it is only polite to offer good options upfront. Of course, we can do so much more it would make your head spin.'**

'**You can speak fluent gobbledygook?' **He asked in shock, '**even I can barely speak the language properly, and I'm part Goblin!'**

'**It helps to have a tongue so silver that even those of the Faye envy it.' **Harold winked and Flitwick blinked in surprise.

'**Silver tongues?' **he was digging, trying to remember if these were the two he heard in the Hat all those years ago. They called themselves the strangest names, and claimed to have tongues of silver.

'**Indeed,'** the blond drawled, **'I am the Master. I believe you know what that means?'**

'**I do, and he,' **his eyes flickered off to the side slightly, **'must be the Doctor?'**

'**I am,'** John said, pleased, '**how did you come across the anchor?'**

'**I have no idea what that is,'** the short Professor admitted, **'but the Sorting Hat had three voices- one everyone heard and two that matched yours.'**

'**Ooh, that's fascinating you know. But perhaps once we remember we can continue.'**

'**Yup, because the old man will interrupt in-'**

'**Three-'**

'**Two-'**

'**One-' **

Dumbledore cleared his throat to try and regain some semblance of control over the three people snarling and growling away in one of the only languages he couldn't speak.

'Perhaps you could take them to the Alley Filius?' he asked cheerfully to the three. _After all,_ he thought, _they already seem to have warmed up to him. It's hard to believe that speaking a rare language can bring them together._

As a response, all he got was a vehement shake of the head from his Charms Professor who, on closer inspection, was shaking ever so slightly. He didn't connect that to the barely contained mirth, so passed it off as fear of something that was said.

'Fine,' he said tiredly, 'Severus, you have errands to run in the Alley, surely you can allow them to accompany you.' He reached into his robe and pulled out two pouches containing money, which he tossed to the boys, and a small length of rope, which he turned into a Portkey.

They all touched the rope and felt a tug behind their navels, akin to being tethered to a TARDIS in space as you start to drift away. Snape couldn't help but be impressed that they stayed on their feet, as if nothing had just happened. It was when they stepped inside the Apocarthy that they stumbled slightly, faces twitching as they passed some of the… fresher… ingredients.

'Here is your list,' the black haired professor snapped, 'now hurry up and buy your things. Meet me at the fountain in four hours.'

'Sure thing,' they chorused cheerfully. He watched as a flicker of cunning flashed deep in the brunette's eyes as they turned on their heels with the packages and drifted away. Perhaps they had some snake in them after all…

'Wow, that was easier than I expected,' Harold exclaimed, 'so, the bank?'

'Last one there has to drop the shields for an hour in the Great Hall and look the old goat in the eyes!' the brunette sprinted away, his companion hot on his heels. They ran into a large building called Gringotts and were met with a staring crowd and a staff of Goblins.

'Damn,' the Master swore, 'it was a tie.' Both pouted slightly before rolling their eyes at the crowd and strode up to separate desks.

John bowed with his right fist over his left heart, never breaking eye contact. Smiling with a closed mouth, he began the formal greeting to an equal, **'May your enemies die by your sword,' **he stated to the shock of both the Teller and the humans, **'I am** **here to gain access to** **my vault, number** **8.'**

'**May you live to see many battles,' **the Goblin replied automatically, **'Number 8 will require blood and a magic reading, but you knew that already, yes?'**

'**Indeed,' **John agreed, glad that Hogwarts had fed him memories up to the fifth year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when the vaults were created, **'take it at your leisure.' **He stretched his hand out to the warrior as silver and gold flashed coldly, followed by the sting and flow of blood into a goblet that appeared from under the desk. It flashed away after lighting the wound in a white inferno.

'**Bloodlines affirmed as true sir,' **said the Goblin quietly in awe, usually the gash would spark or smoke a bit. This boy was stronger than most, **'a quick magic test and then you may travel to the vaults.'**

A potion was handed to the Doctor who just smiled and drank it. His energy was on display for the entirety of the Goblin Nation to see for a few moments before the effects were cancelled. With a nod and blink, the Teller motioned to the wall. John strode through unhindered, followed closely by Harold.

'Bloody hell the security got tighter since last time we were here didn't it, Saxon?' (A/N: Har is pronounced hair)

'Really,' he snorted, 'I never would've guessed.' As they rounded the corner, they were face to face with a large albino dragon. The Doctor let out a low whistle, impressed at the runes and beast they were tied to.

'That is a _big_ lizard,' Saxon gasped, 'but here they have dragons, right?'

'Yeah, that would be a dragon,' a male voice said from the shadows, both found a redhead standing just slightly off the side. He looked at them quizzically before speaking, 'what are you two doing down here? Which vault is yours?'

'Our vault is-' the Doctor began cheerfully,

'Number 8-' the Master continued seamlessly, the redhead shuddered a bit, mumbling something about "Gred and Forge" who had obviously been quite a pain.

'But, alas,' John sighed theatrically, 'we have forgotten which side holds the nundu and which the gold.'

'Nundu?' the redhead gulped, 'There's a bloody _nundu_ down here and no one thought to tell me?'

'Yup,' the Master chirped, popping the "p," 'but we'd like to have a snack with us before we visit Dots.'

'You don't mean that you named a bloody _nundu_ Dots?' his left eye was developing a tick.

'Oh, it's this one with Dots,' the Doctor called happily, 'see, cause it has the words '_**leopard'**_ here, and '_**poison'**_ here, and '_**deadly' **_ here, and this side has '_**wealth, knowledge,' **_and_** 'steel'**_.' Without pausing, he stuck his arm in the mouth of the odd four-winged bird in the wall. With a grumbling noise and much fallen dust, a door was revealed for the two to enter.

Bill blinked; '_These two are like what would happen if you crossed the twins with Hagrid and added in a good dose of hyper curse breaker…'_

'That's it,' he exclaimed, 'I'm gunna go get roaring drunk!'

Meanwhile, the Time Lords were exploring the mounds of gold, hills of silver and mountains of brass. Walking by leisurely, they split up and as one encountered a library with only two headings; 'read' and 'not read,' the other found four portraits on a wall.

'_We'll need a trunk with the same inner dimensions as the TARDIS if we plan to use all this junk.' _The Master sighed, '_hey,_ _one of_ _these portraits looks like the ghost we saw last night. It says his name is… was… Salazar Slytherin. The other three are of a Helga Hufflepuff; she looks kind and is wearing yellow bordering on gold and black. Another is Godric Gryffindor; he's in red and gold. He kinda looks like you do when you're planning someone's demise, brave and selfless. They and a Rowena Ravenclaw who's in blue are all frozen, dormant.'_

'_Well, let's take them along anyway; they might be awakened by a stay at Hogwarts.' _They stopped speaking for a while as both poked around; it all looked quite useful as well as practical. Just not at the moment. After consulting the letter from the school, the two chose books for the subjects of Potions, Transfiguration, including the animagus transformation because it sounded fun, Defense against the Dark Arts and Herbology.

'_Found a large trunk over by the self-fitting battle armour. It already has ten rooms within and looks to have a… charm is the word here, I think… to keep it light or something.' _John called mentally to his friend,_ 'We can just expand it with whatever we have when we get the time. It can be our project for the year to integrate magic with our technology. Once we're done, well… I might just happen to have a dormant, 500- year-old TARDIS crystal.'_

Saxon froze and started gaping in John's vague direction. Shaking forcibly from the stupor with a glazed look of shock on his face, he grabbed the portraits and lugged them over to his companion and elbowed him sharply in the ribs the second everything was inside. 

'Hey, what in the name of Rassilon was that for?' John squawked in surprise, rubbing his side. Seeing the direction Saxon was staring in, he turned around slowly to come face to face with a slobbering jaw, sharp fangs and the stench of decay and death. Great feet with dagger-like claws clicked on the floor, caked with dried blood. A pelt of gold and black stretched over the creature that stared down with violet, slit eyes from five feet above his head.

'**Dots,'** he growled happily**, 'how did you get in here?'** He jumped easily to the nundu and ran his hands gently along the beast's flank as she gazed contentedly at her old friend. He looked different, yes, but he was still hers.

Chuckling softly, she said **'the little creatures that live here put me into this room as the guardian of your possessions.' **She tilted her head and lay down. Running her giant tongue along the fangs, she grimaced at what she found.She looked pleadingly at the small boy lying comfortably along her flank** 'And could you help me to clean my teeth and claws? I haven't gotten desperate enough to bathe in the water they give me. I have to drink that stuff!'**

'**Sure thing, I'll take you out with us when we leave the bank.'**

'Er,' the blonde said wearily, 'won't that totally freak out the people in the Alley?'

'Yup!' John proclaimed cheerily as the blond twitched and grumbled something about hyperactive, well-meaning idiots and evil, deadly cats not being a good combination… ever.

'Oh, shut up,' John said playfully as he punched Saxon in the arm, 'you know you love us.' He and Dots then proceeded to blink innocently at him. Saxon swore fluently in multiple languages under his breath.

When they left the bank, John vaulted onto Dots' back and they strode out the bank with the crowd parting like the Red Sea before them. As John slid gracefully off of the giant beast's back, she shrunk to the size of a kitten, even if it was a rather serpentine kitten who curled over his neck and shoulders.

They then walked calmly into Ollivander's to meet a silvery-eyed man with aged hands and lots of knowledge.

'Here for you wands, then?' he asked rhetorically, 'which hand do you prefer?'

'We're ambidextrous,' John said cheerfully as a tape measure whizzed around his body and brought the scrutiny to him.

'That's a rather rare talent, young Smith, even if it isn't truly your name.' John blinked in surprise at being found out, but just shrugged and smiled roguishly with a raised eyebrow.

'Right, then,' Ollivander stated briskly, 'let's get started.' He then proceeded to hand out boxes with wands within. None felt even remotely right for him, and John became twitchier as they went through shelf after shelf.

'I wonder,' the old man murmured as he pulled out yet another wand and handing it to him. It felt odd, but much less wrong then the other one hundred sixty three to touch his hands.

Ollivander just became more and more exited at the expression of distaste and froze, glancing between the children in his shop; he nodded once and returned with two boxes of green and blue.

'These have been in the family for generations, no one has claimed them yet and the ingredients are long extinct.' He passed the one more blue to John and the greener one to Saxon as they reached out towards them.

The cases trembled excitedly at the contact and the wands flew out the moment they were touched. A rope of ice with a fire contained within curled around them separately; the ice stopped moving and shattered moments later.

'Oh, bravo,' Ollivander clapped, 'that was the most magnificent display I've ever seen!' he turned to Saxon and began to explain the components, 'that is a wand made from a petrified Mahogany, for nature magic, and has a core made from a one-of-a-kind bird with four wings that my ancestors dubbed Ra, for its tenancy to trail fire in its wake and bring light and hope to the desperate. It sparkles because silver and powdered chimera scale is imbedded in the wood.'

'It is amazing,' Saxon admitted softly as he twirled the dark red wand that bordered on black and glinting with silver in his hands, 'do the decorations mean anything?' He asked while gazing at the ever-changing design that went from water to the deep tones of earth at a whim.

'Indeed,' Ollivander said, impressed, 'they show ambition and reflect the elemental state. It is a very powerful wand indeed.'

John looked down at his own, and saw in mild surprise that the wand was similar to Saxon's, with an inferno and wind instead of river or earth carved in the wood. Other than that, the only other difference was that the wand was not a dark red but an inexplicable icy blue.

'These wands are made from the same branch of the same tree with a feather from the same spot on rather like the two of you, if I'm not mistaken.'

After reassurances that the wands were free, the two headed over to the pet store for snacks for Dots and a familiar for Saxon.

They passed by each row, and eventually came to a stop by a small tank holding a lethargic silver snake.

'**More humans,' **it hissed in distaste, **'I wonder if they're here to poke at me like the others.'**

'**I can assure you that we are not,'** Saxon hissed back in a papery tone, **'I am searching for a familiar. Would you like to come with me? I'll keep you warm and fed, of course.'**

'**You are a speaker?'** it rustledin response, coiling to get a proper look at the two humans outside of her tank, **'my name is Silvenestri. I would be honoured to be your familiar, young speaker.'** Saxon nodded happily, and with a quick glance, he channelled his magic to open the simple lock and opened the tank. Reaching in, Silvenestri quickly coiled her length up his arm and came to rest loosely around his neck like a silver collar and rested her head contentedly in the hollow of his throat as John cast a warming spell on Saxon's new familiar.

'We would like to purchase these items and the snake, please,' Saxon said bluntly, her eyes widened at the serpent on his neck and quickly stammered out the price of six galleons and three sickles before ushering them from the shop, barley taking the money in her haste.

'Well, our four hours are almost up, let's go wait by the fountain for our escort.' They both took off swiftly, the crowd once again parting for the strange boys with curled animals under their chins.

When Severus appeared five minutes later they once more grabbed hold of the rope Portkey and landed gracefully in the Great Hall. Soon after they were tucked safely in their room and the four portraits were on the wall.

They sighed contentedly and simultaneously stroked the new companions before starting new plans for the Opening Feast. Hogwarts wouldn't know what hit it. 


	4. Really?

A/N: Here you are, as promised. I'm sorry for not updating the right one, BUT IT WOULDN'T GO PROPERLY! *seethes* anyway, I don't own it, blah, blah, blah, oh, mention of a Torchwood alien. I describe it later, and there's been weirder, so relax. remember how I left Bill? Yeah, he's drunk. T_T bad influence, he is. They start in third year, since they're cool like that. So… yeah. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO TOLD ME TO FIX IT

And if my friend doesn't stop pestering me I'm SO putting her in a crack-fic and have her stalk Dumbles…

Chapter 4: Well… THAT was a Bad Idea…

Or: Why You Should Never, Ever, Ever, EVER, let the Last Time Lords in Existence Meet a Dementor; Especially On a Train Filled with Students…

Weeks passed until the months changed from July to August to September first.

'So,' Harold panted after finally ending the duel with John pretzel on the floor, 'I think that covered first and second year charms and transfiguration.'

'Yup,' John said as he straightened and counted subjects on his fingers, 'DADA we found instinctive and, while fascinating and amusing, ridiculously easy until this level, History is kind of pointless, Astronomy… I'm not even going to _justify_ that one.'

'Exactly,' the blond responded, 'Potions, when thought of as complex Chemistry with alternative ingredients is easily understood; and Herbology is rather akin to cataloguing different species and civilizations.'

'Things like the Animagus transformation will have to wait.'

'Why?' Saxon pouted, absently flicking his wand to set a thin, heatless layer of fire over Silvenestri, or Silven, as he had been dubbed.

'That's kind of obvious, isn't it? If we tried with such instable magic, we'd do more harm to ourselves than good. We have to wait until we're, at the very least, thirteen in body before we even think about trying it. '

The Master sighed, 'yes, I suppose you're right.'

'Boys,' the "ghost" called, 'you have a visitor.'

Ever since the first night, they had gotten to know the disembodied presence, turns out he was supposed to be in a portrait.

Once they got both him and said portrait on a wall in the Slytherin Common Room, he would merge and it would activate.

They both straightened up and cracked open third year books, pretending to be immersed in _1001 ways Charms and Transfiguration can be Used in Duelling, _and _Ancient Runes and You: a Beginners Guide to Warding, Curse-Breaking and Translating._

A few moments later, the door swung open to show the stern face of Minerva McGonagall, known mentally as "Professor Kitty" thanks to them spotting her in mid-transformation. She let a flicker of curiosity pass over her features at their chosen reading materials and just shook her head.

'It's time for you two to go to King's Cross Station and board the train; I'll leave you on the Hogwarts Express side.'

'Okay,' they said, grabbing the trunks that they found in their vaults. Saxon had a black with silver lining, the inside decorated with snakes. Smith's was just a dark red, almost black, sporting spiralled designs that were, in all actuality, Gallifreyan writing in a light golden hue.

They walked forwards and allowed the Gryffindor Head to hand them a tiny, innocuous scrap of metal. It shone blue for a split second and both boys and their luggage landed smoothly in the middle of a bustling train station, a glistening red engine on the tracks.

Both took the trunks and hung them down over their shoulders one-handed, they trudged through the throng of people, who looked rather nervous.

'You think it has something to do with this Sirius Black fellow?' John asked his friend, ignoring the incredulous stares coming from all sides.

'I think so,' he paused, cocking his head to study what looked like the front of his robes, 'and so does Silven. And what does Dots think?'

'She thinks that, and I am quoting here, that humans are strange and cowardly beings for not being able to keep the poor man imprisoned in the first place.' They were on the train now; and curiously peered into compartment after compartment, passing one with what appeared to be a lupavariform (werewolf), who was asleep, before settling on one that was empty except for a small blonde girl who was reading a colourful magazine.

'Hello,' John said as they sat down, 'I'm John Smith, that guy over there is Harold Saxon.'

The girl looked up dreamily, 'I'm Luna Lovegood, and please don't feel bad about giving me an alias.'

Both blinked and stared at her, surprised, 'right, fine,' the other blond said as he recognised her as someone with diluted Arcateenian blood.

The Arcateenians were also known as "butterfly people" and shone blue. Being a highly telepathic race, their blood made humans aware of lies and gave them a natural shell of mild insanity to hide behind when they felt threatened. If someone trustworthy wasn't found for them to talk to properly after five to six years of hiding, then they would permanently act crazy, while in actuality be intuitive, resourceful and extremely loyal.

'My real name is… forgotten,' John said, 'but I have gone by The Doctor for many years.'

'Mine was also lost, although I went by Yana for a while, I chose the name of Master. We changed to aliases so as to appear less…' He struggled for an appropriate word.

'Alien-y,' Luna said dryly, with a raised eyebrow. Both boys looked at her for a few moments then allowed grins to take over their faces.

'Glad that you're back, Ms. Lovegood,' John said with a fist pump, 'do you know about…'

'The fact that my great-great grandmother Alice was an Arcateenian,' she asked, 'or the fact that if I had found no one in the next two years to confide in that I'd truly become what I was hiding behind?'

'Both, actually,' Saxon interjected, 'and… what is that?'

The train had just shuddered to a halt, and the compartment had gotten freezing cold, frost forming on the windows and breath became visible.

A wave of despair washed over them as a black cloaked figure opened the door. Luna fell to the ground with a strangled cry, and Harold- no- the Doctor tensed as memories flooded past the locks in his mind.

The Master froze and heard himself cackling madly, and staggered to the wall, using all of his control not to knock out a pattern on the doors of the train compartment.

_Tap-tap-tap-TAP… TAP-TAP-TAP-__**TAP**__… __**TAP-TAP-TAP**__**-TAP**__…_

'Here…' He said hoarsely as the tapping grew louder, 'come… the…DRUMS!' he laughed once, hysterically, and suddenly his face contorted and he hunched over, crouching on the floor with Luna and clutching desperately at Silven, who was hissing comforting nonsense at him continuously as he fought the madness.

The Doctor was watching as Susan left… as Gallifrey burned because of his mistake… as Rose was ripped away… as Martha became a soldier because of him… as Sarah-Jane joined UNIT's ranks as informer… as Mickey lost his girlfriend to an alien who couldn't bring himself to admit his feelings… and as the Master spiralled into utter madness from the Vortex.

He had said to Jack and Martha, so long ago now, that some who viewed the Untempered Schism were inspired, some ran, and some went mad… but there was a fourth option that only happened to a few.

One that was a combination of the other three, when the time lord in question ran and never stopped running, but was inspired by eternity, by the beauty that was the universe and driven to protect it, but was driven by madness, and when anger released the madness, made them, truly, destroyers of worlds.

Time Lords both feared and revered them.

Rassilon was on.

Omega was one.

The Master was one…

And he was one.

And he was furious. The pain faded to the background as he grimaced in determination, letting himself rage at the being in front of him.

He was not heralded as The Oncoming Storm, harbinger of death and destruction for nothing. Neither was the Bringer of Time a superfluous title.

He attacked the monstrosity with his bare hands, not noticing the way that they curved into talons.

He ripped it systematically to shreds before setting them to decay into the earth, not realizing that the Vortex was reflected in his eyes.

He took the very core of the demon, and heaved it into the Void, the Howling; not perceiving that ghostly appendages sprouted from his shoulders.

Once it was gone, he instantly changed to normal, not even knowing that he did so. He dropped to his knees beside the two, and promptly joined them in oblivion.

Soon Remus Lupin burst through doors, looking wildly at the three children on the floor, taking in the tattered black cloak crumpled at his feet.

A low groan alerted him to the brown-haired boy waking up. He sat bolt upright, and looked him straight in the eyes and calmly said, 'took you long enough.'

'What?' he found himself asking, watching as John Smith prodding his blond counterpart on his back, the hissing snake relaxing slightly after a short bout of Parsel from him.

Remus ran out to grab Harry and drag him in there. They arrived in time to hear the next bit.

'**What is wrong with the Master?'**__Silven asked worriedly, coiling and uncoiling by his shoulder.

'**He was just remembering who he was, and how the drums sounded.'**

'**The drums were the tapping, weren't they?'**__John just nodded his head and set Harold on the seats, sitting him up before drawing back and smacking him sharply.

'Ah, what the hell, Doc-' he glanced around quickly, 'John!'

'No more drumming, right?'

'Yeah…' Saxon looked over at the three people looking at them like a sideshow attraction while a fourth was just looking curious. He looked down by their feet and saw the remains of the creature from before, 'John,' he said with exaggerated slowness, 'did you go all Oncoming Storm on its arse?'

'Er… kinda?' he answered as he gently shook Luna awake. She came to with much shuddering.

'**Hush, little one,'**__Harold called back in a soothing manor. She almost instantly calmed and he switched places with his friend as she crumpled against him.

'Here,' Lupin said as he pulled out some chocolate and broke it into pieces and handed them out, 'chocolate helps with the effects of the Dementors, I'm not sure why they came here, but there you go.'

They all munched happily on the sweet, 'I passed out as well,' the dark haired boy in the corner piped up, 'I'm sorry for your losses.' He bowed his head in respect.

'Let me guess,' said John, 'Dementors force you relive your worst memories over and over, right?'

'Yeah,' the boy said, 'I saw my parents' murder, and I'm guessing you saw something similar.'

Saxon shook his head sadly, 'I just heard the drumming… the endless drumming…' he shuddered with a grimace of disgust, and at the paling of the other boy, no one saw fit to ask.

'I watched as so many were lost…' John began, 'as my friend became _soldiers... _as my mistake caused Gallifrey to burn…'

'Gallifrey,' Lupin said, 'was that your home?' Luna, Saxon and John laughed morbidly, and all along the train who heard it shivered.

'Close enough,' the boys chorused.

'**Dots, you okay?'**

'**Yeah, I'm fine,' **came a growl from his neck, Remus jerked back in fear at the spotted fur and distinctive eyes.

'Oh, dear Merlin, that's a nundu!' Hermione staggered back as well, ready to bolt.

'And my familiar, so leave her,' John snapped out protectively while Harold laughed.

'…'

'Er,' Harry said, 'I'm Harry Potter,' he tensed a bit and seemed surprised when no one reacted.

'I'm Harold Saxon, and he's John Smith.'

Harry hesitated before speaking again, _**'So… are you both Parselmouths, or is it just John who can speak?'**_

'_**We speak every language known to man, and all the others they don't.'**_

'Huh, cool, I think I'll like you both.' Harry said as the others looked at them with slightly fearful expressions.

'The feeling's mutual, we are the age of first years, but I think we're at third year level. Dumbledore agrees.'

'Well, I'm Rem-'

'We know, and we also know that you're a lupavariform; and that you're our DADA professor.'

Lupin opened his mouth to ask what in the name of Merlin a lupavariform was before pausing. Realization crystallised in his eyes and he looked at the three distrustfully, 'Don't worry, it's not a big deal,' Saxon said flippantly, 'besides, I have a feeling that you're better than the other two Profs those lot had to deal with.'

The train stopped again, and they all said farewell and got off, John and Harold walking over to a large man, and boarded the boats. No one got in with them. They just laughed at them while playing with elements.

Back with the Golden Gryffs, Remus was still gaping like a fish, and Hermione was muttering things to herself, glancing from side to side and writing in the air with her fingers.

'Hey, Harry,' Ron asked after a while, 'what were they talking to that snake about?'

'Something about the drums… the tapping from earlier, apparently that's the blond one's worst memory.'

'OH MY GOD!' Hermione screamed suddenly, making everyone jump, 'they're in our year!'

'…'

'…'

'…er… you JUST figured that out?' Ron ventured cautiously.

Hermione nodded, now shooting glares at the only boat with two people.

Back in Hogsmead…

Bill Weasley was staggering about the bar, using wild hand gestures to get his story across, a small water beetle inched close enough to hear what was goin on.

'… and then, they say, "but we've forgotten which one holds the _*hic* _nundu and which the gold!"'

Rita sagged, thinking it was just a lame joke when she heard the continuation…

'I _*hic* _mean, who the bloody hell has a nundu in their _*hic* _vault and then forgets which one the bloody thing is in? Then, around an hour later, they come _*hic* _out, _with a bloody fuckin' nundu! _One of them was riding it, happy as can be! Then they _waved *hic* _goodbye to the _goblins… AND THE GOBLINS WAVED BACK!'_

And with that, Charlie Weasley passed out on the table in front of him, leaving his dumbstruck audience

_And I've got a story to write…_


	5. Ron is SUCH a genius

Chapter 5: Not Even Twenty Minutes and There's Already a Conflict. Nice.

Or: Don't go Dissin' the Doctor's frienemy… I mean friend.

The rest of the night went normally, the hat sang its song, the students sat to eat… and then IT happened…

'And now,' Dumbledore said while clearing his throat, 'I'd like to introduce two new students, who will be joining the third years.' He motioned for the two Time Lords to step forwards, and no one was the least bit surprised when they did so.

'Impressive rumour mill you got there,'

'If I do say so myself.'

'…'

Fred and George hi-fived, cheering for them.

McGonagall groaned and started rubbing her temples. She motioned for Saxon to go first.

The hat was still a few centimetres above the blond's head when it called out in a loud, grating voice.

'SLYTHERIN! SLYTHERIN! SLYTHERIN, JUST DON'T MAKE ME SEE ANY MORE, BY MERLIN!'

The ghost no one had noticed but disappeared with a smirk of victory.

Everyone stared incredulously at the boy who had made the old hat lose its composure.

A boy who, for his part, just shrugged happily and waited for his friend to be sorted, waving at them all cheerfully from the side of the old three-legged stool. They screamed a little when Silven poked his head up his neck to see what was going on.

Whispers broke out among the Great Hall, many spitting cruelly that the other would probably belong to the house of green and silver just as quickly.

To their surprise, he just sat cross-legged on the old stool and made himself comfortable.

McGonagall sighed and gingerly dropped it on his head, blinking when nothing happened but the brim of the Sorting Hat dipped lower, completely covering John's now smirking face, and he _never_ did the expected, as anyone who knew him understood very well.

'_Hello,'_ said the enchanted hat upon his head, _'my, aren't you just the little enigma? You're eleven in body- but then you've been everything from an infant to someone the age of ninety or so… not to mention that you're almost millennia old._

'_Then you're one of the last members of an extinct civilization, sworn to watch the universe and yet here you are, a hand in every pot._

'_Merciful, even to your mortal enemies, the scourges of your universe… but you've destroyed entire planets while in a rage.'_

The voice held as much as a smirk as it could, before a voice faded into existence.

'Hey, it's me, the version of you that would've had to die for you to get here. The name's Godric Gryffindor, the Master is connected to Salazar. We don't have much time before they get suspicious. What do you need to know _now_?'

'Is the castle sentient?'

'Some places, centering from the heart of the castle outward are fairly so. Oh, time's up. Please don't kill my Gryffs.

'No promises,' he muttered quickly as the Hat's original voice yelled out, 'GRYFFINDOR!'

Everyone fell silent and stared even more, trying to see the differences between the two.

Saxon grinned and headed off to his new Table, throwing a quick, 'have fun,' over his shoulder as he went.

John countered with a 'try not to kill them while you're at it, please. We don't need a repeat of England, _you-know-when_.'

'I'm not planning on…' Saxon looked around and paused, standing still and turning back slowly, 'is that warrant still out for our heads on a platter?'

'No,' John said cheerfully… far too cheerfully. Not that Saxon noticed.

And this is Hogwarts: '…'

'Oh, thank-' the blond got in happily before:

'It's out for our slow and painful deaths until the finale which would be us being drawn and quartered and then left on stakes throughout London square.'

'Damn,' Harold swore before shrugging flippantly and slipping skillfully at the seat closest to the door. It just happened to be next to the Bloody Baron, who gifted him with an approving look. Soon the two were deep in conversation, ignoring the attempts at conversation coming from others who conveniently blocked the last few seconds forcefully from their memories.

John looked at his new housemates as he sat down, and they at him. Some of the older students gave him a nod of acknowledgement and welcoming smiles, but everyone fourth year and below just sneered at him.

'Look,' one of the many red-heads said, breaking the silence, 'it's not that we don't like you, just that you need to know some things about the Houses.'

*Harry's POV*

The firstie was strange; his Sorting was slightly off as well. Added the fact that he was a snake-speaker… it was going to be an interesting year.

John's eyes hardened ever-so-slightly at the comment similar to the way that his own did whenever he heard something he didn't like. Harry caught it, unlike most, and filed it away as the look of an old grandfather who was mildly irritated by a child's endless bickering over an old subject.

He raised his brow in a way reminiscent of Snape, the look clearly saying "go on, I'm listening."

'First off, we're the noble house, brave and great, Gryffindor's ruddy _brilliant_, and we don't care whether or not someone's a muggleborn, half-blood or pureblood.'

Harry personally thought that the mildly impressed look earned the slightly weary stance John had put on it. There was always a follow-up to the compliments with a good old fashioned throng of insults to other people to statements like that.

'Now, the Ravenclaws are okay for sure, they're the bookworms of the school, known for their brains.'

Smith looked a bit more impressed with Ron, relaxing and adopting a look of entrapment that lulled everyone into a false sense of security.

'Hufflepuff is where most people without really outgoing traits usually,' here he glanced quickly as Ron could; everyone saw it anyway, 'end up.'

The new third-year tilted his head to the side in a decidedly curious manner, now like the way the birds stared at him when he went to the Owlery.

'And _Slytherin,'_ Ron fairly spat, making John twitch, narrowing his eyes and the new pose was not that of curiosity but of a predator preparing to strike at some particularly stupid prey, 'is home to the Death Eaters in training. They're all liars, thieves, criminals and prepared to do anything to see muggleborn and half-bloods dead.'

Ron finished his speech and sat back proudly, happy to see that the brunet was still watching him sharply. Many other students, even those from other tables were nodding along with his impromptu speech, the longest and perhaps most impressive he had ever given.

Harry saw the thinly veiled rage broiling in the boy, so like his own after a horrible day with the Dursley's when they piled on even more insults.

He slowly inched away from the now volatile boy, whose eyes looked like deep brown tunnels into the dark no one could escape. He shuddered.

*Snape's POV*

He wasn't too surprised when the blond was placed in his care, as the boy had allowed him to see the inside of his mind a few days previous, he said "let" as in with the shields up there was no way he'd get within.

Saxon had said that he saw how he didn't trust him, so he allowed him in with the promise to try not to look at anything blocked off.

All he got when he _did_ get the chance was a good look around a lush forest filled with things he had never seen in brilliant colours, a burnt orange sky and silver trees. Far off in the distance there were mountains with red grass.

The thing that gave him away as a Slytherin was the body he assumed. Inside one's own mind, people give themselves the form they're most comfortable with. In most cases it was either a glorified version of themselves or a grotesque one.

Very, very rarely they took on their own body, even more rarely was someone so well defined as a mental image, and usually they were blurred around the edges, especially children. But Saxon was clear and sharp, and a man in his late twenties or early thirties, and dressed in a grey jumper and washed out blue jeans.

Saxon had then shown him a weak door in the centre of a tree, behind a waterfall and blocked by dens leading to god knows where, he didn't particularly wish to find out. He remembered gaping at the boy for what seemed like ages, not believing that one so young had found the damn thing in the first place, that he was willing to show him showed monumental trust.

He took the last few steps to Mr. Saxon's sub-consciousness, and placed a potions-stained hand on the flimsy sheet of metal.

The door opened and he saw what made the curious boy tick.

There were endless bodies in varying degrees of decay and vividness, a gigantic pile was made entirely of one man in an old WWII jacket.

But he kept going, and saw another door carved with elaborate circles twining in and around each other in such a delicate manner they had to be writing. It was beautiful in a terrible way, that opened and he went through, and there were many versions of the blond man within doing various things.

He remembered how he had been introduced to personalities.

'_Hello,' a boy around eight said, clutching a small jewel in his hand, 'I'm innocence and trust.' He pointed at a very kind looking man who looked suspiciously like an elder version of Mr. Smith and said, 'kindness and mercy.'_

_One with his head alternatively buried in a book and a chart full of equations absent-mindedly said, 'intelligence.'_

'_Hatred,' intoned a cold sneer from a shadowed corner._

'_Cruelty,' hissed the one polishing weapons._

_A shriek pierced the air, and cruelty took a throwing knife and left into a darkened corner with a sneer. He returned swiftly, sans dagger and covered in blood._

'_You'll have to forgive madness, he gets out of hand sometimes,' informed a black-haired man with a goatee, 'I'm serenity, logic, strategy.' He had bowed slightly._

_A very nervous looking young man stepped up and away from his work and bit out a swift, 'love,' before Severus felt it was time to leave- forgive the expression- LIKE A FUCKING BAT OUT OF HELL._

He hadn't had a chance to do such with Mr. Smith, but he didn't much feel like it after seeing what he had.

Saxon trusted him, and had continued to tell him afterwards that he needed an ally besides Flitwick, who was just collateral, not even a choice in whether or not he knew. After that, Severus couldn't help but wish to assist the boys in whatever they needed.

He tore his mind away to see that John had gone to Gryffindor… fascinating. The boy was a snake as well; perhaps he could learn to like this one if he made an effort in class and didn't fall to the prejudice against Slytherin House.

He heard the Weasley brat bad-mouthing his house, and tensed, seething. The only thing that calmed him was that his snakes seemed unconcerned, and that Potter was edging nervously away from the seat he was at.

So… the new Gryff didn't like others shoving their opinions down his throat.

What happened next surprised everyone.

*normal POV*

John shook as he stood abruptly, instantly calming down. He shot a pitying glance at Ron and started talking.

'Really, isn't that kind of cruel? I've had to kill before, and your friend Potter over there has had to as well… but for the record, when has a Slytherin ever lied to you? Twisted the truth, telling half-truths, misleading you yes, but when has one _ever_ lied? It all comes from Salazar; he spoke Parseltongue so often he could no longer lie if he wanted to. You can't lie in Parsel if you tried, and the rest followed suite. Give me one example, and maybe I'll speak to you again. Grow up, Weasley.'

He then turned on his heel, brusquely halting before Professor Snape and giving him a nod. The Slytherins all looked at him coldly, and planned their own method of thanks for the boy who stood up for them.

With one last gaze at the red table, he sat with Luna and allowed her to fill his plate.

'Nice speech, John,' she said calmly, 'I rather liked it. Perhaps I can convince Daddy to publish it in _The Quibbler _for you. Change has to start somewhere, after all.'

This earned some stares, and Luna looked at them with a tiny smirk. She leaned back and propped her feet up on the table, 'yes, that's right; I'm a bloody insane idiotic mess of a girl who made it into the house of logic and smarts. That makes _SO_ much sense.'

Many had the decency to blush and look down at the hems of their robes.

John just chuckled as he tucked into the meal.


End file.
